The Healing Power of Forgiveness
Written by Catherine N. Komir, Certified Holistic Health Practitioner
Much is being written on the power of forgiveness. Why address this issue in a health-related column? How does forgiveness heal? What is true forgiveness?
As we move through the winter solstice on December 21st, we are invited to enter a time of introspection. Holiday and family gatherings can sometimes cause us to think deeply about how we should deal with the nagging mother, the brother with “issues”, or anyone else who “pushes our buttons”.
When approaching health in a holistic manner, we realize the intricate connection between the body, mind, and spirit. Many health professionals now refer to the
body-mind entity, and researchers have discovered that our cells are influenced by thought and emotion. The body actually stores negative emotions, which can create energy blockages and damage cells. This explains how stress is the purveyor of dis-ease, mentally and physically. By releasing old grudges, past hurts, blames and shames, we release pent-up energy in our cells and are free to heal as we accept responsibility for our health. As Judith Orloff states in Positive Energy, “A Stanford research study showed that practicing forgiveness significantly decreases stress, rage, and psychosomatic symptoms.”
What is true forgiveness, and how is it achieved? All great spiritual texts address the acts of forgiveness and compassion. Remember the golden rule? Some may think that forgiveness means that we, being more spiritual or evolved than the person who has wronged or hurt us, will “forgive” them. Yet this kind of forgiveness involves the ego. True forgiveness requires a willingness and intention for healing and inner peace. It does not condone the act, but attempts to focus compassion on the perpetrator and to consider possible reasons for the insult, which may stem from that person’s own past hurts, upbringing, and abuse. True forgiveness requires diligent work and may require the aid and guidance of a healthcare professional. It also requires introspection and a willingness to examine our own thoughts and established patterns that may no longer be serving us in a healthy way. When something negative, such as betrayal or abuse, happens to us, we can, at best, look for the healing opportunity and lesson in the situation and move on. It may be a call to leave a destructive situation. It is always healing to allow oneself to feel the emotions involved. The key is to move forward in forgiveness, thus empowering ourselves and our health. Feeling a connection with a Higher Power and asking for help and guidance from this Source is instrumental in the healing process. Many times we cannot do this work on our own, so if your beliefs support this, ask for guidance.
Forgiveness of self seems to be even harder to achieve. What if you are the one who has harmed someone? Taking responsibility, practicing honesty, and offering apologies when appropriate may seem terrifying at first, but are the way to freedom and peace. Even if the other party cannot accept your attempt at reconciliation, you have done what you know needs to be done, freeing up your energy. In the human family there will be errors, since we are all learning our lessons along the way. Looking upon ourselves and others with compassion and realizing that when we know better, we do better, creates positive energy and a path to health and wellness.
Other aids in the forgiveness process include the use of visualization and guided imagery. These tools provide access to higher levels of consciousness where we can gain knowledge of ourselves and others on the soul level, enhancing our ability to see the situation differently and making forgiveness easier to achieve. Accessing feelings where they are felt in the body through the use of imagery connects us with memories and emotions that are waiting to be healed. During a facilitation process with a trained professional in this body/mind technique, one is guided through a process which allows the deep-seated, subconscious issues to surface and be addressed. What we think is causing our feelings may turn out to be totally different than the actual cause. Healing occurs when truth is revealed through this inner work. The work of Brandon Bays in her book, The Journey, is an excellent tool in administering the healing process. Loving What Is by Byron Katie also discusses ways to decrease our personal suffering when events take place that we think should not have happened. Visualizing something good happening to the person who has wronged you in some way seems to help open the channel to positive energy. Also, if you are the one asking forgiveness, writing a letter of apology to someone you have hurt allows you to take responsibility for your part, being vulnerable and revealing your sadness for causing pain. Let them know that they need not respond in any way. You are doing this for yourself, not to be forgiven by them. If they write back, it needs to be their own choice. Try to include some appreciation for this person, focusing on the soul, rather than the personality or actions. If you do not choose to send the letter, share it with someone you trust, gaining their feedback.
As we begin a new year, it may serve our health to gain insight through introspection. All situations are opportunities and possible starting points for seeing things in a new, more positive light. Forgiving yourself and others may be the best New Year’s resolution you can make for your health and wellness.
If you are interested in learning more about forgiveness and healing, you may enlist the guidance of a holistic health practitioner or other professional who is knowledgeable in facilitating this process.
The Huntingdon Health and Wellness Association makes no medical claims or recommendations. Check with your doctor about your specific health care needs.